Argh after today's choir prac i think i'm quite certain that my voice is ruined forever ):
every time i *try* to sustain my phrases or whatever my voice just ends up cracking
[not a pleasant sound]
and in front of the sec ones, embarrassing much!
actually my voice was already like that in beginning sec two
but during syf this year i thought it was... healing
but i was wrong because now it's like shit again
and i don't know how it got spoilt in the first place
maybe eating too much junk?
nah, i don't think that is serious enough to spoil the voice like that
hmm maybe it's just the way i sing that screwed it up T.T
and soon the juniors are going to way surpass me, if they already haven't
this is very upsetting
and you know what?
it's even affecting my normal speaking voice as well, wth.
because i don't remember it ever being so monotone in sec one or sec two
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO D:
when you come to choir your purpose is to sing, but when it's like 力不从心,
it's just freakin' infuriating to the max.
see this is why i'm not joining chorale in JC; i don't think i can sustain this much longer.
saturday now, so sixteen more days to piano exam and sixteen days to my doom O:
yeah im eff*ing screwed up because i can't even play any of the songs continuously without stopping at least a few times in each song
like my basics, the notes, aren't even right so i can just forget about the dynamics right
and forget about even passing right!
and i'm very very very very very very stressed out now because i have to sort out everything within 16 days, in the midst of school, cca prac, SAs/ SPAs on week eight and nine, PT (ss script), SMP poster (omg are we the only group that hasn't started :x shit) and SAMC, which is like SUCKING UP my free days like anything this week and next week
yah in fact thanks to SAMC, if there's no choir i have to stay back anyway, and every single day getting home at 6+ or 7+ ???
oh goddd why didn't i start bucking up in july or june,
one extra month would be SO HELPFUL NOW D:
but then last month i was burdened with all the PTs and the other random stuff that cropped up and were just squashing me down
i swear before the month of august, for this entire year the only times i have seriously sat down to practice piano (say more than 15 minutes) was less than 10.
which averages out to about 1-2 times a month :x
number of times i practiced scales this year = once. seriously.
so my only practice for everything was from the piano lesson itself
SR, forget it, confirm fail
only aural might save my skin, but prolly not enough to pass.
i kinda can't wait for august to be over
EVERYTHING WILL SETTLE DOWN AFTER THAT i hope :/
but yet i really really wanna do well for piano or at least pass.
ahh this week was unusually tiring D:
yeah now i know why
because i came back so late everyday and still gotta practise piano
so i don't get to nap at all
and still have to stay up to do my work
[if only i'm a quarter as productive at home as i am in school! :0)
keep getting distracted at home which is bad :( ]
but anyways
naps are truly awesome you know :) :)
i finally succumbed to my tiredness and napped today (T.G.I.F.)
in fact, i'm going to sleep now :)
and sorry you had to suffer through the rant/s
Something to do;
Someone to love;
Something to hope for.
